miranda hut


Name: Miranda Grimaldi Hut

Nationality: Monaco, France

Occupation: Professional Eating Sports Athlete

Age: 34

Height: 1.81

Weight: 132 kg


“in the name of bacon


“I will create the Fast Food Universal Knowledge Center (F.F.U.K.C.) to research and develop the best flavours humanity has ever tasted and get everyone to abandon the unpleasant life of tasteless healthy food, thus shutting down the gross, lying and uninspired Muscle Muscle Church led by that distasteful, unpleasant religious bully.”


As a legitimate princess, Miranda was raised right from baby times to be perfect: lots of servants teaching her about culture and knowledge, exercises to be healthy and, above all, really good manners and great looks. This means her family is one of the world’s most prominent defenders of the Organic Natural way of life, eating only natural healthy food - a privilege restricted to the richest in this world.

It was all going well until age 14: on an official royal family trip to the USA, she sneaked out of her hotel with a mysterious friend and tried her first ever juicy, fat, greasy, splendid, delicious cheese bacon. She immediately freaked out. “How on Earth have I not tried this marvelous delicacy before?” she asked her mom. To which she replied: “You are an elegant princess, dear. If you eat that, you’ll become clumsy, ugly and fat. It would bring our ratings and influence down. We don’t want that to happen, do we?”. And she was forbidden of eating anything other that Natural Organic meals.

That was enough for a repressed young teenager to rebel: Miranda started eating only Yummy Fatty food just to piss her mom off. Her mom stated an ultimatum: get thin or get lost. Miranda had no doubts: she split and moved to the US in search of the perfect burger.


On her first tournament, Miranda proved she was a natural: she became the world’s youngest  Quadruple Cheese Bacon Marathon World Champion, sending her to new social heights - surpassing her parents position in fame and popularity. She engaged in an extremely successful career of eating stuff by becoming the world’s most popular Eating Sports Athlete and a true spokesperson for the Yummy Fatty eating trend. She gained huge popularity and became an eating reference with her social posts praising junk food and the pleasures of eating tasty stuff.